29th July 2016 The MALESTROM

Pokemon Go (Away)

If the tagline ‘Pokemon Go is a free-to-play location-based augmented reality mobile game developed by Niantic for IOS and Android devices’, isn’t enough jargon to make you want to steer clear of this latest digital craze – then maybe it’s the sight of fully grown up human beings, nearly getting run over by buses, or wandering perilously close to the edges of train platforms with their heads buried firmly in their technological device.

We at The MALESTROM like to consider ourselves very much down with the kids. Which mainly involves keeping a glancing, knowing eye on the latest trends, and should it be required, offering some pearls of wisdom to our earthly siblings about just how they might want to reconsider their use of free time and possibly do something a bit more challenging and worthwhile before god forbid, it’s all over and your last few days on planet earth were spent trying to catch Pokemon!

A quick glance at the news shows how creative criminals in the US, lured unsuspecting players to a remote car park and robbed them. Ha! What the f**k is going on? In Australia Police were forced to issue a warning to people to make sure they look up from their phones when crossing the road.

I’ll admit it got us guys at The MALESTROM HQ, all confused over a few early evening beers. You see, here we were sat in the (rare) summer sunshine, chatting, soaking in the world around us, only to find a sea of forty-something professionals and supposedly valuable members of society, walking aimlessly through their lives, staring at a screen, playing some mobile game.

How does it work? According to the increasingly popular Pokemon Go website, who’s server bafflingly encountered problems recently, due to the sheer number of people attempting to download it – you’ll “explore cities and towns around where you live and even around the globe to capture as many Pokemon as you can.”

As opposed to exploring cities and towns, in an exploring kind of way. Seriously, what the f**k?