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Gleesome Threesome! Or Gruesome?

Gleesome Threesome! Or Gruesome?

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Britain’s braced for its forthcoming second lockdown. Definitely gruesome. America is poised to trash Trump. Gleesome for many. And UK is poised to give the EU the finger. Either or, that, depending who you ask. As our Political Correspondent Peter Spencer reports, all bets are off, just about everywhere.

Parallel lines never meet. Until, according to Einstein and others, we hit infinity.

Could be a bit of a wait then, before corona-combatting hawks and doves kiss and make up. Same as Trump and Biden backers, and Brexiteers and Remainers.

Let’s start at home. Which is where English people at least are going to be stuck. Again. For a month.

With nations across Europe shutting down fast, the writing’s been on the wall for days, with Bojo alone holding out against any such thing.

Until his top docs nailed him to the floor with seriously scary stats. Worse than their last worst-case scenario.

He knows he’ll never be forgiven if he’s seen as responsible for a surge in deaths. But he’s been up against his Chancellor’s chafing at the cost of tightening the screws.

Also the chorus of disapproval from MP’s on his own side.

Plus clear signs everyone thinks Manchester mayor Andy Burnham and soccer supremo Marcus Rashford are much sexier than him. The ripple effect of steps he’s already taken.

Must be times when he pats the dog and gets off pat a quote from an Alan Bennett play. ‘History is just one f***ing thing after another.’

Thus far opinion polls have consistently shown public support for tough measures to fight the virus. But the new news could spark a collective howl of exasperation.

Especially if the latest, sharply conflicting but highly authoritative narrative, gains traction.

The professor of genetic epidemiology at London’s King’s College, Tim Spector, is not mincing his words.

‘We want to reassure people that cases have not spiralled out of control, as has been recently reported from other surveys.’

He adds his outfit’s review is the biggest there is, and its findings echo those of the Office for National Statistics. That in spite of rising hospital admissions deaths remain average for the season.

Something for Bojo to ponder, as he gets on his mat and prays bits of better news elsewhere will turn into better results.

For example, fresh evidence that the vaccine Oxford boffins are beavering away at works on all age groups.

Also the signs the rival team at the drugs giant Pfizer could have the jab ready to roll before Christmas.

Britain’s already taken a punt on that. Buying enough doses for twenty million people, who could be inoculated the second it gets the go-ahead.

Failing that, development of thirty-minute saliva kits means millions of people could be tested every week, fifteen times the current tally.

As well as much quicker, it’d also be much nicer. Just a bit of a dribble instead of having nasty things poked into throats and noses.

Testing times across The Pond also, though figuring out who’s won the presidential election will be anything but quick. And not necessarily nice.

The store chain Walmart has whipped guns and ammo off display shelves for the time being, in the hope of keeping unpleasantness to a minimum.

As if there hasn’t been plenty of that already. Rival factions have taken to spitting at one another. Spitting lead could come next.

Which is why businesses across the US are boarding up, and thousands of National Guard troops have been deployed in Texas.

‘It is widely believed that there will be civil unrest after the election regardless of who wins,’ says Washington’s top cop.

More than eighty million Americans have already voted, many by post. Corona fears compounded by anxiety about intimidation by Trump backers at polling stations.

Lagging badly behind his Democrat rival, the Donald has latched on to the mail-in trend as potential justification for crying foul if he doesn’t win.

And he does have an awful lot to lose. US citizens are not keen on banging up their former Commanders-in-Chief, but Trump company accounts are of interest to the US Internal Revenue Service.

Though Al Capone’s name is linked to four hundred murders, it took a tax rap to put him behind bars. Worth remembering, that.

Then there’s the Yankee voting system, which is even barmier than ours, which is saying something.

This time twenty years ago George W Bush had it all sewn up. Until it unravelled in Florida.

Hilarious sight on the night, TV commentators confidently signing off on his victory. Then thinking again. And again. Dammit.

It was weeks before the matter was finally settled, in George Dubya’s favour, thanks to the votes of just a few hundred folk.

An interesting what-if of history. If the court had backed the Democrat candidate, Al Gore, the Iraq war may never have happened.

Meaning Saddam Hussein could have carried on huffing and puffing with weapons he didn’t have. And our very own Tony Blair might not have been consigned to the naughty step.

Talking of ex hero-worshipped ex Labour leaders, Jeremy Corbyn is also in a spot of bother.

Seems only yesterday young ladies were practically throwing their knickers at him. A contrast to now, being thrown out of the party.

It started with his principled stand, shared by the UN Security Council, against Israeli occupation of Palestinian territories.

But it mushroomed into what’s described by the Equality and Human Rights Commission as lawbreaking antisemitism, on his watch.

His successor, Sir Keir Starmer, says it’s a ‘day of shame’ for the party.

Matter resolved? Anything but.

Same as Britain’s ongoing negotiations with our friends and partners sur le continong.

There’s a parallel to be drawn here with the Florida fiasco of two decades ago. Once again, small numbers can make a huge difference.

It’s estimated that the UK’s fishing industry is worth about one per cent of the nation’s economy.

Not a lot then. But everything to the people trying to scratch a living out of it. Likewise to European rivals who want to use our waters.

Those close to the ongoing bickering over our overall trade deal with the EU are agreed almost all other cracks are poised for papering over.

But it seems nothing’s agreed until everything’s agreed. Which could turn out to be tough on the other ninety-nine per cent of business.

How we’d keep the buggers out, if we say our sea is not for foreigners, is a question no one’s answered. So far.

But it seems more and more people have already worked out what to do with themselves if they are stuck at home again.

The model railway maker Hornby has seen sales soar this year. Up a third. Meaning, unlike many other companies, it’s actually making a buck.

And if little trains don’t float your boat, so to speak, these guys also make Corgi cars and Scalextric racing kits.

So much domestic bliss, so little time. Calls to mind the pay-off line in the seminal satire Candide.

After just about everything that could go wrong did go wrong, the philosopher hero decided ‘il faut cultiver notre jardin’.

‘Sod it, let’s just dig the sodding garden’. Not quite what Voltaire wrote, but it’s what he meant.


Peter Spencer has 40 years experience as a Political Correspondent in Westminster, working with London Broadcasting and Sky News. For more of his fascinating musings on the turbulent political landscape, follow him on Facebook & Twitter.

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